I Prefer the Loneliness
January 15, 1970 (ll)
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19700115                         Acceptance

I Prefer the Loneliness
So many empty face I have seen,
Or are they only reflections
Of what I want to see?

For your eyes seem alive, seeking, loving
But still hidden.

Are the shells that separate us impregnable?

Those eyes tell the story of love shared
And the pain that followed.

Mine, I’m sure, hide emotions I have known.
I work very hard at disguising my loneliness.

But in you I once again can see life
And loving and pain.

The pain is necessary, but I fear it.

I tremble when I touch you
Fearing you will turn away.

I tremble when we speak
Fearing you will think me a fool.

Why can’t I forget those fears
So you may explore my thoughts,
My feelings, my body,
Allowing us to come together in love,
Forgetting loneliness.

But I can’t take another rejection
Of my naked self. So, it seems,

I prefer the loneliness.
Oh, God, help me.

He did. I still prefer the loneliness on my 76th birthday
    as well as when this was written on my 24th