Index 
Jail Time War We Love the Fight
Today we had a near fight in the dorm. One guy got really riled and the two scuffled, no hitting. Then after they broke, each said he could have taken the other. Fear of loss of face was shown by both, even to the extent perhaps as going to a real prison. My reaction was non-comital but laced with fear that I (1) might get caught up in it, (2) might chicken out, and (3) might get punished. These were all low-level fears, but go way back. I have never fought, well, once maybe in 4th grade when I punched Billy Cowan, a 5th grader in the mouth just to see what it felt like (it felt horrible). I have always tried to use my wit and verbal abilities to avoid fighting. However, I have always harbored a feeling of not being a true man because of it. All this fight behavior reminds me of the book I am reading, “Studs Lonigan”, a thug growing up in the south side of Chicago in the 1920’s. Fear of loss of face is a big one for men, even presidents attacking Iraq. |