Journal: The 80's Decade
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Bureaucracy                            Intelligence                            Trees by Joyce Kilmer

Bar Musings While Traveling for Sandia              Morality (alcohol)
I wrote few journal entries in the decades of the 1980's and 1990's. I was too busy with a writing career and family to write more personal stuff. I wrote the following on napkins in bars I visited while traveling for Sandia. I didn't often visit bars while traveling, but when I did and got the urge to write something in my drunken state of mind. (various dates, probably early to mid 1980’s)

Napkin 1
A universe may exist apart from a second, separated spatially and temporally in the dimensions of a third universe which is itself identical to the first in its own infinitesimal relationship.

Napkin 2: Overheard
“The kids have really got it rough now about the marijuana thing”
“These kids are realistic, but I don’t agree with their long hair. If they’re going to get anyplace, they have to conform”
“The girls are more idealistic than the boys. They see themselves as chairman of the board of IBM”
“Blue conservative suit, 25 cent cigar. Pencil in his outside coat pocket. Balding with a rim of hair around his hat at ear level. 1 inch sideburn, no rings, pale green or gold tie. Gold watch, white shirt, string shoes”
“You can’t even find a good pair of tennis shoes to play tennis anymore”

Napkin 3
Empty sounds ride the irritating burst of pain from the strobe through the stench filled room and land upon unhearing ears belonging to God’s vacant eyed children. Gyrating motions that make a mockery of the beautiful sexual ballets exude from the dance floor in a hilarious display of frustration. The spectators look on with glazed eyes repugnant at what they see but longing to be in the spotlight also. The performers know and respond with unfeeling sounds to entertain unknowing minds. Some of the dancers are afraid to touch while others relish each movement that rubs their bodies with pleasure and opens their minds to love. I love to watch two people in love dance. It is beautiful. A girl just walked by and cast that know glance at my eyes. Everybody seems to know what that look means except me. Will you tell me?

Jim, I’ll call him, likes to make music with his hands and mind but finds it hard to respond with enjoyment when the sounds of his guitar fall on blind ears.

Napkin 4
Paranoia, insecurity, whatever results from drinking in that the alcohol produces a depressant effect on the senses that make one (me) feel physically alienated from the world and to compensate for this feeling one (I) become(s) boisterous, violent, etc. to compensate for the inner insecurity he (I) feel(s) as a result of the alienation of the world.

Susie wrote the letter May 1980                            Compassion

Susie Sinnock's Letter

Copied from Google Images "Joyce Kilmer Trees" March 1980

Trees by Joyce Kilmer