Goodbye to Sharon
written October 4, 1969
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19691004                    Desire

Goodbye to Sharon
Something happened my love,
For I find myself gazing
At you through a cloud of confusion
That keeps us so far apart.
One day I dreamed of a love
That would blow the cloud away
Like pollen on the wind,
And decorate our hearts
With a life filled with beauty.

Have we lost that star that guides us to that love?
Or am I plagued with illusion of despair?
Where are the lights flashing in your eyes?
Where in the warmth that colors your smile?
I knew them once but they seem to have faded away.
The sun doesn’t feel so warm
And the stars look further away.
In my thoughts, alone at night
I try to place the blame on you,
But I know there is no blame,
For we are only pawns moved
So randomly by the whimsical hand of fate.

If this is but an illusion,
Please ease my soul with a tender kiss
And warm my heart with words of love.

But if not, I wish you, my love, farewell,
Wherever the wind may carry you.
(Separate letter)

Dear Sharon,
I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing, writing to a woman who I shouldn’t even be thinking about, but I am too far away to call, and I want to talk to you. I am very afraid of you, Sharon, because you have had an effect on me that I somehow find impossible to control. All logical reasoning tells me that I should do everything possible to detach my emotions from you, but I can’t. Maybe it is because the experiences I had with you were the only ones in which I acted without a mask to hide my true self from the world, Maybe it was just because you made me feel so good. Now I find myself in a very uncomfortable situation. All I want is to be with you, but that is impossible, so I entertain myself with fantasies of a future when again we aren’t afraid to admit that we want each other, and with memories of last summer.