20121225 (J)
Journal: Christmas Day, 2012
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Happiness                Language (neoligism, "Sages of the Ages")                Morality                Letter to Jessie Jackson (unsent)

Wow - I am all abuzz over this morality thing, what, having been kicked out of family gatherings by my sister for "inappropriate behavior" including my asocial ways as demonstrated by the total abhorrence of my statement "Thank god for the killings" and other threatening things and gestures. I have been writing like a madman ever since, and my theme is, "Thank God" or maybe, "What's wrong with it for --- ME". I have used Matthew 5-7 as a focal point for logical analysis (my "sickness") because my writings were letters to people here in our Christian culture. So here I record what I think are similar thoughts from a few of the "sages of the ages". Let's not get pedantic and insist then on "belief" in everything any of these guys says. So I suggest we pick a choose from among ideas, not people.

Epictetus               "Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to,
                                but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well." ¶8

Lao Tzu                "The world is sacred, it cannot be improved. If you tamper with it you'll ruin it" Ch. 29

The Teacher           "Vanities of vanities, all is vanity" Ecclesiastes 1:2

Buddha                   Misery comes from desire.

Epicurus*                 On fear: by adherence to logic "we shall be able to rightly explain and account for the forces which
                                are responsible for all human fears and distress, and hence, rid ourselves of those fears"

                                "Those, on the other hand, who do not welcome such subjects with enthusiasm will not be able to
                                comprehend them and they will not be able to obtain that, for the sake of which we study these
                                subjects, peace of mind."

                                On Death: "Those who urge the young to live well and the old to die well are nitwits because life is
                                intrinsically valuable and worthy of being welcomed by all at all times.

                                On Justice: "Natural justice is an expression of the natural interest everyone has in both a) not
                                harming others, and b) not suffering harm for oneself" (note, b) does NOT say not harming yourself,
                                but not suffering "for" yourself, a very important distinction.

                                * I am currently reading Epicurus carefully for the first time so I am biased to quote him more, as much to help me learn as to make my point.

Garrett Hardin         The tragedy of the commons is "any instance in which society appeals to an individual to restrain
                                himself for the common good - by means of his conscience. To make such an appeal is to set up
                                a selective system that works toward elimination of conscience from the race"

Happiness: I've often thought and sometimes said "Most people seem to believe that if they just had 25% more money things would be just fine." But since they don't, and since they work hard, they are underpaid that amount by a cruel, greedy world.

Now 12:42 am on the 26th, and I think this burst of writing is waning. In fact this last page is a transcription of previous effort.

I wrote a one page comment on some of Hardin's statements in his famous article. I was rereading his article as I perused the file of old writings and poems I came upon (mentioned in my Letter to Mark also this manic day) while looking for old letters from Jeannie accusing me of various and sundry misbehaviors, letters I have received throughout my adult life. I didn't find the letters, yet, but I did find this old file. I don't think I really have looked at any of the entries since they were written, some as long ago as high school.

I balled my head off as I read and chronologically organized my writings: many love poems, many short "essays" on lots of stuff, and some drawings including a self portrait that is ugly and scary as hell. I balled while reading several entries from long ago, head buried in my hands, and cried out,

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I am NOT the one to carry this message"

And each time quickly recognized, "Of course I am not obliged"

What message? (see Manic Day subpage "Sages of the Ages")

But why cry? I think it was for joy, for I saw the wisdom I feel I have now attained, wisdom firmly entrenched in my writings of a young man those many, many days ago and throughout my life. There appears to be a consistency as well as a coherence, and now I have finally come home to be able to include Jesus along with the "sages of the ages" (I must have used that neologism at least four times now in the last couple of days).

Perhaps I am in a bi-polar manic mood. (see December 20th thru the 25th journal entries. Some would say so, especially my sister who excluded me from family gatherings this holiday season, perhaps because of mania. However, I doubt it, just excitement of the first Christmas after I absorbed Jesus into my atheistic philosophy through, especially, Matthew 5 - 7, the sermon on the mount, and a quick reading some other New Testament to confirm coherence, if not complete acceptance of all. So done over the past year, more to do, perhaps. Anyway, when I express that excitement (not about Jesus, per se, but the philosophy he has now been absorbed into along with others like other "sages of the ages", an aphoristic term I invented yesterday (at least I have never seen it, at least I don't recall seeing it).

So, yes, perhaps mania, but as indicated, I doubt it. Anyway, the exclusion hurts, I think, so I wrote to fend off the hurt. I have collected all I wrote here, about 20 to 25 pages, far greater than my usual page or so a week. My appetite disappeared as it has only once before, the day I was fired. However the awful feeling of depression that permeated my entire outlook on the world that day, a unique feeling, does not now accompany my loss of appetite. Anyway, this is the last of what was a very productive burst of writing about morality, community betterment, praising god, cursing god, and what god is among others, quite focused on the sermon on the mount only because that provides a common language. The sub pages references under this entry are or refer to that production. Good night and God bless, though I don't believe in God or god.