20120318 (J)
Journal: March 18, 2012
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Idea of "Other"                                  Morality                                  Senses

Spring: Great spring heat wave, 80°F for several days, breaking old records by 5° or so each day for several consecutive days, 4 I think.

Craziness: Perhaps I am an invalid (not valid), a crazy person, as certified for my social security “disability” (bi-polar). Perhaps then, enthusiasm is invalid. On another subject, Terry West, referring to me, said, “I know things” according to Mark. To Mark I said, “I know, and I know I know”. And that seems to be true, at least about some things, but I think not so about what many call “human” things: feeling, caring, hurting, loving.

So then I probably am an invalid. I either didn’t get, didn’t develop, or even worked to rid myself of such feelings. So Saint? Or pathetic invalid? I of course prefer the saint answer. There, I just called myself a saint, which no saint would ever do, right? Perhaps by assigning sainthood to helping others, to self-less(ness) is a lie, Cain’s sin. (not his murder of Abel which may or may not have been jusfied, we don’t know, added August 18, 2016)

And God said, “There shall be pain, and it was good”, i.e. “the sacrifice I extract for knowing me”, perhaps for life, at least for conscious life. And the Devil whispers, “Not necessary, not good.” So ISTMRN as we pursue the reduction of pain in ourselves and, most assuredly, in others, again we curse god and play the devil’s tune.

What was Cain’s sin? The murder or the lie? Or the presumption that he was not his brother’s keeper?, or a little of each? I think the last presumption the weakest sin, and ISTMRN not even a sin, but a correct interpretation, somewhat cynically of God’s mind (intent). Cain obviously asked, “Am I ….. “ as a rhetorical question because the obvious "No" answer was known to both parties (the cynicism). It was an attempt to deflect God’s mind by reminding him of obvious things. So “not keeping” his brother was just fine by God.

Killing him then lying about it by not answering a direct question to which he knew the answer was not OK by God. That certainly leaves open God’s approval of “keeping our brothers” as well. But I think perhaps it does play the devil’s tune, but perhaps also, as many seem to believe, it plays God’s tune, and perhaps a little of each, and perhaps they are the same. So thank you, Aristotle, the path lies on the golden mean (or Buddha’s middle way).

So what’s that crap supposed to mean? And are the two uses of the word “mean” related? So much I don’t know, and so much I do. Am I talking with greats or am I babbling to fools, perhaps both? So much I don’t know: at times I think I just might be lecturing the giants, then, especially with others' encouragement entertain the possibility that is just a delusion of my bi-polar mania.

Nahhhhh!!!