Index 
Jail Time Self
I am growing a full beard for the first time. Maybe because no one is telling me not to, or that I “have” to shave, which I don’t like. I can’t decide if the hassle of shaving is worse than the hassle of the beard. I don’t like a beard, but I don’t like to shave, especially here with the dull razors that hurt a lot. I did better in the ping pong tourney than I thought I would, but still felt humiliated when I lost. But my good play further established me as the “cool” old man, nicknamed “the Viking” because of my beard. So I still fear rejection so that I want a bunch of felons to like and respect me. So will I do whatever it takes to make me accepted? Hmm . I dread thinking of charges in Illinois. Later: I just beat soundly at ping pong the Jang and Balleu 3 straight games each, after losing 4 straight to Johnson. It makes me feel proud, masculine, aggressive, alive (which I often say is so bad), but also sorry for the losers. Jang is mad at me when all I did was play my best. Maybe that is why I stopped competing. |