Last day of “New Beginnings” part of the “Program”. Time seems to move very slow and very fast. One month and six days done of six months. Somehow I feel this is my life and I could stay here for life. I dread jail and prison in Illinois. I am probably suffering resentment for being here because I don’t feel explicit anger. I get flashed of scenes from places along my driving commutes quite often. Just now of the shopping center of Lake-Cook Road. I guess I don’t think of what I will do when I get out because I think it is 2 to 5 years away. THAT makes me mad. I am not writing letters, I just don’t feel like communicating because I will get mad talking to “free” people in letters or phone. I have not called anyone in 3 weeks.
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