Index 
Palisade Years Desire
1969.12.00 (bsn): Letter Never Sent Dear Sharon, Our paths have parted now, but I must tell you that still I am very deeply in love with you. I always will be. Love for some yet unknown woman may again touch my mind tomorrow or the day after, but that shall not succeed the love I have for you, but will complement the beauty you have shown to me. I may place my thoughts of you in that memory chamber that I call upon only when I need reassurance that caring and truth do exist. Bringing beauty into my life is the gift you have given me, a gift I can never lose or even forget through disuse. Beauty seems so hard to find that I cherish in wonder every eternal moment we spent laughing, crying, and loving. If the love I give tomorrow brings to me the same love and freedom I felt with you, then I shall have gained again upon the distance that separates me from heaven. If not, I have already found the knowledge that heaven is known only by the living. We shared much more than our bodies. We probed and consumed each other’s minds with an enveloping w armth that I shall always have to drive away the cold. You are a beautiful person who I refuse to dissect into a series of patterned responses preferring to remember your beauty. I love you Sharon.  Sharon, I found the above letter while digitizing my journal which I intend to put on the internet. 1969.12.00 (bsn) stands for December 1969 (Ball State Notebook) where I wrote many love poems to you. You were my first and only love. I got over love. I was married for 27 years until she died in 2001 to a woman I was not in love with, Susie Carter, perhaps you remember her from IUPUI. I went on to get a PhD in geology at Purdue and retired recently in Palisade, Colorado, in the heart of my Purdue thesis area. I worked for Sandia National Laboratory in Albuquerque for 15 years then TRW in Las Vegas for 5 years on the same project, the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste dump. I was fired as I reached my Peter Principle limit, “way above my level of competence” in the executive suite. I was technical not management. I then started and went bankrupt in an Internet Service Provider that I ran for 6 years in Las Vegas, XTS.NET until the ISP crash of 2000. I had several mental breakdowns along the way requiring hospitalization according to the experts by not to me. I live alone, by choice, and my motto is “Thank God, I’m an atheist”. I have spent these last years photographing Colorado side roads, photoshopping the images and posting them on a web site of my design (yet to be posted along with my journal entries). I recently posted a family web site at http://www.sinnocks.org and a continuation of my thesis at http://www.coloradoterraces.com. I am over the love I had for you. Thank you for the “joie de vivre” and the lesson that love hurts, so why fall in love again? I found the same solace in Epictetus, Lao Tzu, Buddha, and Jesus (not the god and miracle stuff but the advice of the Sermon on the Mount, only three chapters in Matthew.) Anyway, I thought you might get a kick out of the above letter, and hopefully some good memories refreshed. Scott Sinnock (your lover for the whole summer of 1969) 940 S. Iowa Ave, Apt 4 Palisade, CO 81526 Email:ssinnock01@gmail.com |